I hate skipping, there I said it. I spent 30 minutes repeatedly skipping 4 times then either standing on the rope or hitting myself over the back of the head. Now I'm fairly sure that I wasn't furnished with one of the magic ropes sprinkled with fairy dust that everyone else was using but, a bad workman and all that. While everyone else's ropes went click, click, click, click rapidly against the concrete, mine operated with a more purposeful (or embarassing) click ........ click ..... click .....at least it meant no running...which I am dreading.
After managing to cover myself in all kinds of skipping glory, I was apprehended by the head trainer. It took him all of five minutes to send me to the toilet dry retching which in itself is quite impressive. After this he decided to spend his considerable talents and rage on another poor soul.
Then I was taken into the ring by "Got", well I think that was his name. He taught me the very basics of throwing a kick without falling over....and other important life skills.
After 2 hours of training, I knew I was going to be in all sorts of pain. My muscles were already threatening to pack their bags and head on the next flight home.
I mosied into town and picked up a moped and a massive fry-up...yeah, yeah, all the pure travellers can give out about eating local food and so on but nothing was going to fill me unless it was 50% grease. The journey into town on a moped is about 12 minutes so it's a necessary thing to have.
My moped is a beautiful manly shade of turquoise and they had serious issues finding a helmet to fit my big ass head. I think they had to go borrow one from some other cranially endowed person. It still doesn't fit well....they had another one, but it was pink and with the turquoise bike already, I couldn't do it to myself.
It's been raining most of the day and more is expected tomorrow. Keeping stuff dry is not possible. To quote Chris Rock, "I've a nice moist house".
3 comments:
hahahahahaha priceless tom...im sure you look the bomb on the turqouise moped!!!!im practising the skipping to show you how its done!!! keep us updated...loving the stories that im gonna sneer you forever bout!!!member i never forget them!!!xxxxxxxx
that was me laura not lorraine!!
Thomas, you have to keep updating this with your progress on becoming a boxing guru - this is funnier than Mr. Bean; Crying laughing at you skipping and you thinking you were going over there to lash fellas out of it... gobshite!
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